Florida got me down, but my husband got no sympathy
DEAR ABBY: I’ve lived in New York all my life. I moved to Florida a year ago because of my health and to be near my daughter and granddaughters.
I’ve been depressed since I came here. I miss New York and my best friend a lot. I can not sleep. I sit and cry and have no motivation to do anything.
My daughter has been great to me, but when I try to talk to my husband about how I feel, he doesn’t care. He screams and walks away.
I’m so confused. I feel like I can’t move forward. Could you give me some advice?
DISPLACED IN THE SOUTH
DEAR DISPLACED: Your reason for moving to Florida was rational. However, feelings are not always rational. Your move has placed you in a situation where the environment is unfamiliar and your support system (your best friend) is no longer there for you.
The symptoms you described are those of a deep depression. Don’t let it become chronic. Some sessions with a licensed mental health counselor can help you adjust to your new situation so you can explore your options for more social interaction.
PS I wish you had asked me if it was wise to move before doing so as I would have advised you to rent for a year to be sure you would be happy in Florida before making it permanent.
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for six years. The problem is his sister and the emotional hold she seems to have on him. There have been several instances where she has been disrespectful and intrusive regarding our business.
When I argue with my husband about this, his response is either he’s sorry or he acts like he doesn’t understand why I find his behavior intrusive.
When he talks to her on the phone, it’s as if he feels compelled to talk to her about our business — that is, our financial situation — which I’ve told him time and time again is not weren’t looking. He says he agrees with me, but he did it again recently.
He acts like he’s scared of her, like she has some kind of emotional hold on him.
I’m about to pop a joint. I want to return to the subject so that he finally understands my point of view and is not so eager to share everything that is happening at our place. Thoughts?
PARTICULAR IN ILLINOIS
DEAR SOLDIER: You and your husband were raised in two different types of families. His is more open; yours, not so much.
I’d be curious to know if your husband is disclosing this financial information voluntarily, or if his sister is asking him about it.
Because it makes you uncomfortable and you have asked your husband to refrain from doing so, professional mediation may be necessary to reach him. Please consider it.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.